In regards to the Family Discourse Page:

Parents is listed under the Sept. 29th entry.

In regards to the Entertainment Discourse Page:

Family is listed under the Oct. 18th entry.

September 7, 2007

Readings

I've noticed that in my international relations of south asia class, the readings are very long and too cut-and-dry. I get easily discouraged when reading these essays, and I feel that sometimes even reading them over a 2nd or 3rd time doesn't help a lot. I think I should read the essays over a period of 2 or 3 days rather than 1, so that i can diagnose the essay little by little.

September 13, 2007

Pursuit

When I'm engaged on a particular topic in class (and I mean A LOT a lot), I get quite overly excited. I tend to go the extra mile to research the topic and/or put in the extra effort to accomplish the assignment. But I guess everyone does the same thing if they were truly passionate about it, but it doesn't happen very often for me. So I guess since it has happened this week, I'm writing about it. I do wish it happened more often...

September 16, 2007

ACL

I've reaffirmed myself that music takes me out of reality and into another place. I couldn't be any happier as long as I have some good music wherever I am. It's the sweet, creamy icing on the cake. Nothing else in that moment seems to matter to me.

September 20, 2007

Being Sick

When you're sick or beginning to get sick, you're supposed to take it easy. But me? No. I've had so much work this week (and for once, I wasn't procrastinating) so I pushed myself to get it done. And what did that result in? Me being even sicker--to the point I can't even function. Plus, I went without taking my magic pill--Ibuprofen. Lesson learned for next time.

September 24, 2007

Overwhelmed

As I was creating a schedule of what I have to do this week, I became really overwhelmed. Half of my tests and papers are due this week. I have kept up with all my classes, but when I looked at all that I had to accomplish, I was kind of freaking out. So I took a break (and played an hour of video games). When I began my stressful routine, I realized along the way that I was going to be okay. I tend to stress when I outline/plan my week. However, as I go through my schedule, I work well under stress/pressure. I just think that in THAT moment, looking at the big picture, I become so overwhelmed that I freak out because it looks almost undoable. I really don't why this always happens.

September 29, 2007

Parents

In my experience with my parents, distance brings people closer. Throughout my high school years, my parents had me on lock-down. When I got to college, it was like a breath of fresh air--the most amazing feeling of true freedom from the household. I resented my parents a lot. But, unexpectedly, I actually grew closer to my parents. I appreciated everything they did for me; but I did make it known that they really made a mistake of treating me the way they did when I was in high school. I know why they did what they did--to be protective and the like. They didn't try to understand me. That was probably the roughest time of my life. Now they treat me more like the adult I am, and I couldn't ask for anything more. But I do notice that when I come home for the weekend, they are so different to me--accommodating, nice, etc. However, if i stay for more than 4 days, they revert back to their extreme nagging, lecturing, parental selves. It's not even that (I understand parents will be parents); it's the fact that they treat me like I'm 15 again. Um, yeah. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 21. Please give me my space. When I first noticed this, I just sucked it up and endured it. Buth there's only so much one can take. So anytime they revert back to this extreme character, I let them know that they're overbearing, and if they want a relationship with me, then they need to treat me like an adult. I am open to criticism and lecturing if need be, and I'm fine with arguing, but don't make me feel like I'm a helpless child listening to her parents like a broken record.

October 3, 2007

Human Nature

I'm taking a class this semester called International Relations of South Asia: India. As I was sitting in class while we were going through the history of India in relation to other "Super Powers" and the wars during that time, I started to think about human nature in the context of war. I've thought about this before, but it came to me again. For example, the war between India and Pakistan over Kashmire has been going on for over half a decade. Over what? Oh, yeah, territory. And what it boils down to is the simplicity of human nature. We fight wars over greed, power, money, possessions, differences of culture and religion, etc. And to be honest and cliche, why can't we all get along. I wish it was THAT simple. The human race is advancing in technology so fast that it's quite unbelievable. But our downfalls lie in the most basic instincts of human nature. And in a way, we kind of seem like savages. Another example is Imperialism of the late 19th century well throughout the mid 20th century. These super powers such as Britain, France, Spain, etc. were colonizing parts of Asia and 90% of Africa. With that, came racism, brutality, superiority, massacres, etc. The arrogance of these super powers being superior in technology and the like led to the cruelty and dominance of native peoples who lived a more simple, rural, and agricultural life. And as much as we hope for the idea of "World Peace," it simply doesn't exist. The values embedded in different cultures don't allow for that. We will always have cultures so different from each other, and these differences are looked down upon in certain cultures to the point of war. It really does all come down to the concept of power.

October 6, 2007

Chicago

I'm excited to be going to Chicago last minute--although I'll be missing two days of class. But as long as I get my work done, I'll be fine. I feel so lucky to have these opportunities to travel on business and do some marketing/sales. I meet so many people from different areas of the pet industry. Networking has always been important to me. What's also awesome is that I'm always one of the youngest attendees to work at the expos. I've been on a few of these business trips for Sporty K9, but I finally get to go to a city I've been wanting to visit. Chicago is the only HUGE U.S. city that I haven't been to and that I've been dying to go to. I hope everything I expect of it will be fulfilled...and more.

October 8, 2007

The puzzle is slowly coming together...

As I've been working on my Family Discourse, I'm starting to connect things from my Career Discourse to other parts of my life back to my family. It's crazy because I've never really thought about these connections and never realized that they were there. In a way, it's a bit of an epiphany. Now I know what Ulmer is really talking about. I was skeptical about this class at first (although I do crave uncertainty), but I've become really excited about this journey towards "self-discovery".

October 14, 2007

Chicago Part II

During my visit to Chicago, I realized that I want to live there for a few years before I move to NYC. It's like the smaller version of NYC, except cleaner and a bit different. I can't really explain how it's different, but things like the old-timey feelings of a lot of the buildings, the affordability compared to Manahattan, the financial district, etc. I just LOVE it. A lot of the excitement from the trip was from going alone--making my "self-discovery." I remember walking up the stairs smiling from the train (which is pretty much a subway by the time you reach downtown. It was about 9:45pm, and the whole city was lit up. It was the most amazing feeling. I also met a lot of people/networking. I don't think I would've been able to do the things I did if I wasn't by myself. You get yourself into situations (sometimes good and bad), and you have to figure out the solutions. It's very rewarding, suspenseful, exciting, and sometimes scary. Discovering things on your own in a whole new place is one of the greatest feelings of achievement for me. This trip also made me want to go out in the real world...and I am sooo ready.

October 18, 2007

Family

My grandmother is my second mom. I was the first grandchild, and I've had a VERY close relationship with my grandmother---oftentimes closer than my own mother. Every time I come home to Houston, I always have to see her; luckily, she lives only 10 minutes away from my parents' house. I flew to L.A. because my grandmother got pneumonia and was dying in the hospital. I've never lost anyone close to me. The closest person was my dad's mom, but I wasn't close to her---not even a tenth of the relationship I have with my mother's mom. Plus, I was really young. Now that I'm older, I've created an even greater bond with my grandmother; thus, the situation is a lot harder on me. I had several nervous breakdowns. I just don't know how to handle situations like this. My entire extended family was up in L.A. (well, all of my mom's brothers and sisters). Within a couple of days of her being in the hospital, everyone flew in overnight to be with my grandmother. It was a very intense atmosphere, but having family around you makes everything so much easier to deal with. I am so grateful to be close to my aunts and uncles (10 out of the 11), and it's reassuring to know that we all have each other. We are a very close-knit family, and we would never fall apart. I look up to my grandparents so much because they raised 11 successful and good people, especially because they came to this country with nothing. My grandmother gave birth to 11 kids--that is something. And the greatest part is that none of the kids abandoned them. They are all very close (except the eldest). As of now, my grandmother is slowly recovering, but definitely not close to being in the clear. She still has to breathe through a mask. I pray for her everyday, even though I'm not a religious person. But for her sake and the fact that she is a devout Buddhist, I do it for her.

October 23, 2007

Business Pidgin

So as we talked about cyberpidgins and pidgins (in general) in class, I thought about my trip in Chicago. Although the definition of pidgin is used when two speakers of different languages come together to communicate in a language as one, I thought about the business jargon that surrounded me. With today's globalization and international trade, people from all different cultures come together to do business. I went out with a couple of head executives of these million dollar companies/corporations. It was in an informal setting--a bar lounge of the Peninsula Hotel in downtown Chicago. As I sat there trying to understand everything that was said, I felt bad for not understanding anything at all. All the business classes didn't really help. In a sense, it helped a little, but I was completely lost. This experience has motivated me to learn as much as I can. I thought about how textbooks and such doesn't completely prepare for the real world--yes, I've stated the obvious. I know it helps, but they don't teach you all this jargon in class. And when I say business pidgin, I think of how all these phrases and slang that are spoken came from somewhere---a group of people had to have come up with it. And from there, it spreaded like wildfire. I know that historically, pidgins were used for business and trade purposes. So why is it not the same now?

October 25, 2007

Risk: Security/Insecurity Paradox

In my International Relations of India class, we learned that the security (in terms of the state/country/nation) is the act of ID-ing insecurities, and security is made concrete by its absence. I feel that taking risks and living with uncertainty can, in a way, make me feel more secure with myself (partly due to finding who I am). In my Fetishscreen, I have ID-ed my insecurities by naming things that do make me feel secure.

October 30, 2007

Quest

After having completed the Quest Schema exercise for this class, I had a huge essay due for my World Literature class. I have to analyze Sherman Alexie's "What You Pawn I Shall Redeem," as well as what I learned about the Indian subculture in which the protagonist belongs and whether or not the protagonist's quest is a success or failure. Many elements of Voytilla's description of "Silence of the Lambs" were present in my case, and in fact, I used Voytilla's description as a somewhat of a relay.

November 5, 2007

A Doll's House

In my World Literature class, we are reading "A Doll's House." In the end of the story, the main character, Nora, goes through a huge transformation--perhaps a little too drastic that it seems unrealistic to me. This change is one of empowerment for a woman, which reminded me of the change I am going through now. I am finally seeing the potential power of being a woman, not only as one who is strong and independent but one who can make it in the business world.

November 8, 2007

India Relations

In my Asian Studies class, International Relations: Foreign Policy of India, we learned how the stereotypes and misperceptions of Indians has caused wars and hurt ties with other powers. I was watching an episode of Drawn together today; one of the main storylines was about how Toot was mistaken for a cow, and Indians worshipped her. This show EXTREMELY made fun of the stereotype of Indias being cow-worshippers.

November 12, 2007

A Reading of the Space in Xemaa-El-Fna

In this excerpt from Juan Goytisolo's Makbara, the characters in the story change clothes. In doing so, they are changing their identities. There were a couple of paragraphs in this passage that really hit me and explained exactly how I feel at this time in my life. "The conception of wearing apparel as symbol, reference, disguise...the temporary shedding of one's ordinary garments and social personality: changing one's clothes so as to change one's skin..." (p.801)

November 14, 2007

Juan Goytisolo

He, as a writer, pushed the boundaries of structured literature by not using punctuation, not having a protagonist, and not giving a storyline. He uses lists, new vocabulary (away from commonplace language), perhaps to create a greater impact, to depict the foreigness and to show language as a "bizarre" (in the story, it is a psuedo-marketplace in the Middle East with no order, with people from all over). This author hit me as someone who is a pioneer of electracy, in that he uses language and words in a new way, imaging by listing words.

November 22, 2007

Ladder of Writing: Connections

Ulmer uses Cixous to make a point on how connections can arise to connect two images/ideas/thoughts that may seem unrelated. During this semester, I have made so any connections with all aspects of my life, through my experiences, and through the experiences of my best friend Megan. We are going through different scenarios and similar experiences, but the craziest thing is that we have evoked the same feelings towards these matters at hand. It seems like we always go through the same emotions at the exact same time, which is very comforting.

November 25, 2007

A Second Look

As Ulmer has said, the values and perspectives you see in a person/something can change from childhood to adulthood. As a factor contributing to my change, my aunt (who is a best friend, Gilmore girl's mother) was, and in some ways, one of my biggest idols. However, now that I am older and wiser, I see that her words and actions do no coincide; she is like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I am overwhelmed with situations she puts me in, and I question her motives many times because I know that I would NEVER do/say the things that she has done/said to me.

November 27, 2007

Un-Special

Ulmer says that no one is really special/unique because everyone goes through the same things. I have realized this before I read it in Ulmer; my best friend Megan and I were talking about this. My parents and my older figures (aunts/uncles/etc.) used to tell me all these things because "they went through the same thing," but I didn't ever want to listen because "they don't really know my situation." Even if you do not go through the EXACT scenarios, the experience evokes the same emotions and moods, thus creating the feeling of a shared experience.

November 30, 2007

Experience over Literacy

When I took Management Info Systems 320F, I learned nothing from the book/class lectures (and I can honestly say this is the first class that this has happened) since these were things I already knew or were extraneous to me; it also didn't help that my professor taught the class like it was at an elementary school grade level. However, one of my career epiphanies came from the business project we had to do for the class, in which I had to learn things on my own. The experience of the project rather than the literate level of the class helped change the path of my career.