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Family Discourse

Page history last edited by PBworks 16 years, 5 months ago

My parents did instill a lot of values which are paralleled to that of the "typical asian" parents. They encouraged hard work in school (instilled in me at a very young age, emphasis on the elders, respect, etc.) It's a nice blend of the Asian and American cultural values. And I'm happy to have been a hybrid of that--although I feel more "white-washed" than a lot of other Asian-American kids (one reason is that I was called this ALL the flippin' time, and it pissed me off; seriously, get over it--I was born here in America, and thus, this is who I am--American). There are some values emphasized in the Asian cultures (and not in the American culture) that I will use to teach my kids. I disagreed with a lot of what my parents did and said, but they are my parents, and I know they did the best they could to give me a better life. I know that it is easier to state the negative aspects of a person, and the cons come out more than the pros. People would rather hear the negative/gossip/cons because it is more intriguing and interesting than the pros and the positive. I know all the good things my parents did for me, but the negative aspects are what really affected and shaped me---so I will concentrate on that.

 

I do love my family very much, but as I grew up, I realized how it went from good to dysfunctional. We are a family that comes together often, but we all have very separate lives...


 

 

I thought long and hard about childhood events. And what I realized is that these memories are grouped into two main periods:

1) the happier times when my parents were good together

2)the harder times when my parents were struggling in their marriage.

 

As much as I don't like writing negative things about my family, this actually really changed the way I saw them, and my independence strengthened as I drifted away from them. I love my family to death now; but there were times that I just couldn't take it anymore. It was the worst when I was in high school.

 


 

One topic that can be split into these two periods is vacations. (pictures are links)

Happy Vacation

Image accredited to Best Western

 

Unhappy Vacation

Image accredited to Sixth Sense

 

 


 

However, I'm very close to my mom's side of the family and a few members from my dad's. MY aunts and uncles on my mom's side are like my best friends. They are young and more like my generation, so they understand me a lot more. My cousin, Krystina, who is 5 years younger than me, is my closest family member. She's like my sister, and we have a bond that I've never had before. The only problem is that her parents are scared that I will expose her to "bad things" since I am "at that age of 21". What they don't understand is that I'm very protective of her and would never do anything to hurt her. I have never given them a reason to not trust me. I can understand where they are coming from, but her dad is the main problem---he is honestly jealous of our bond.

 


 

 

 

  • As I reminisce, I start to see that perhaps why I chose communications as my major is because my family lacked that. I realize the importance of communication in keeping a family, an organization, a business, a community together and running smoother. If my parents communicated to my brothers and I better (i.e. less "iron fist"), our family would be as close as it was when we were younger.

 

  • Perhaps why I feel more at home when I'm in the unfamiliar is because of my parents. The feeling of being forced into a routine and into the familiar is negative and boring. The excitement of new experiences by myself makes me feel more comfortable because I didn't have that growing up.

 

  • Maybe that's why I'm so indecisive--growing up my parents made all the decisions for me. I was still independent from them, in the fact that I didn't want to depend on them for anything (besides food, money, and shelter) like emotional support, school, etc. I wanted so badly to be independent, but it was hard. I wanted to experience things for myself, and I didn't get to fully do that until college (since my parents were strict). I feel that I didn't really grow until college--and that growth was quite overwhelming.

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