Boredom
When I think of boredom, I think of relationships because I am the one that gets bored fairly easily; thus my relationships usually don't last very long. It sounds bad, but I guess in a way, I need to be entertained. I'm not talking about wearing a clown costume and circling around me in a unicycle. It's boring when someone gives you too much information about themselves too quickly because then, you lose that element of mystery. Plus, when people are courting, they project this self-image of themselves that are not entirely true to who they really are. Afterall, we try to impress each other in order to lure them in. So, sometimes people end up not being exactly who you thought they were.
This boredom is also partly due to my uncertainty of being in a relationship. I thrive on uncertainty, but when that uncertainty lingers for too long, you get bored because you feel stuck. You don't know where you're going. So it's time to seek another option--another uncertainty. At the beginning, I am easily scared off my flaws. I know we all have them. Perhaps it has something to do with my somewhat-high expectations? Everyone has their guard up to protect themselves. In American culture, we have a high wall on the surface level, and once you get past that, our wall is lower to get to our very personal level. In other cultures, like in Latin America, it's the opposite.
On a lighter note, I've gotten much better at this boredom state of mind. It shouldn't be quick to move on without giving that person a chance. I sometimes act on the first instinct I get without really thinking it through first.
Image accredited to Jupiter Images
Homesickness
I sometimes do have homesickness--but in the most "surface-level" sense. I miss my mom's cooking, my dog, the smell of my house, my parents, etc. But I don't miss Clear Lake. I don't miss living at home. I don't miss the sense of being in the familiar setting.
And after a couple of days, I don't want to be there anymore.
Part of the reason is because my parents start reverting (under Parents) to their old ways.
Plus, being home fore more than few days becomes very BORING.
Home is where I am--it's not a place or a specific location, but the mood I'm in.
Home is being somewhere new, BIG, exciting, foreign, challenging, cultural.
Image accredited to Jupiter Images
So after analyzing both homesickness and boredom, my decisions are based on excitement and challege---the unknown. And with this unknown, I can be very indecisive because I don't know what I want. There are so many options and paths to take into the unknown so which one do I choose. So my symbol for my decisive state of mind would be an asterisk. I start at one point and there's an infinite number of options going every-which-way. I make decisions based on my state of mind at that moment; thus, sometimes I don't think everything through thoroughly. What's great about the asterisk symbol is that you can go back to the same point of origin and choose another path. But this doesn't always work necessarily. Oftenly, I get bored easily; therefore, I choose paths and options with risk and uncertainty.
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